The original version of this article was written and published on Facebook on the 7th of September 2016.


I read through it not quite long and I am confident that the quality of the content therein will serve as an eye-opener and a source of inspiration and motivation for many marriages and relationship that are struggling to stand and those that are on the verge of collapsing.


I believed that the purpose will be fulfilled expressly.


This is how it goes:


Without any form of argument or being old schooled, marriage imposed a level of reasonable authority on every man.


Authority is imposed by divinity through marital vow on every husband and this must be exhibited and discharged meaningfully not by masculinity and “machoness” only but by simple discharge of timely responsibility without any iota and atom of reluctance,delay and resentment.


Responsible married men are known and praised by discharging their responsibilities without any form of coaxing and cuddling.


No wife should be bold and confident enough to challenge or raise an eye-brow by being indifferent to the correction and instruction of her husband once it is meant to be progressive and developmental without any readiness to share the responsibility needed in the family.


It will tantamount to meaningless insurbodination when you are deaf to your husband’s correction and instruction.This simply signal your desire to share parts of the responsibility needed in the family.



Authority is akin and equals shared responsibility discharged by the parties involved in marriage without any trace of self-centredness.


Being indifferent to your husband authority signals your desire and envy to share the autority purposed and bestowed on your husband by divinity.


Desired equality between husband and wife is quite good and right but it becomes meaningful when the husband and wife are ready to share the responsibilities required for a balanced marital union equally.

“Desired equality between husband and wife connote desired shared authority and desired shared authority denotes desired shared responsibilities being shared equally in content and context having thesame running cost and thesame accompanied reward”.


Once this is in place, the confusion and misunderstanding embedded in marriages in this generation will end up being a thing of the past.


“Gone are the days of Mr.and Mrs.”


“In this generation, we have more of Mr.and Mr. stylishly-a kind of gayism that has not being noted by us and defined by us.”


Marriage should not be a battle ground for unhealthy rivalry between husband and wife.


“Marriage is designed for completion and not competition”.


In spite of the authority given by divinity to man, it should not be misconstrued as a tool for oppression and subjudigation by the husband.It is a necessity that must be used to propel meaningful love and care to the wife and the children.


No trace of disrespect and maltreatment should be allowed in the idealogy of the husband in discharging the authority granted to him by divinity.


In conclusion,marriage gets more interesting and meaningful whenever the basic understanding and knowledge needed to make it work meaningfully are on ground.


It should be designed to make the partners involved better in every ramification of human endeavour.


It is an addition not a subtraction.


Marriage is a treasure and not a burden.




In the course of 2016,I presented a personal view on initially on my facebook timeline and later I published it on my blog tagged:




In the course of last week and while I was in discussion with someone in the course of the weekend, this particular publication crossed my mind but I was somehow appalled for being unable to trace the actual date of the publication.


The present realities in the continent of Africa is a pointer to the fact that many people in this part of the world placed premium on extremism far above existentialism in th manner and approach by which they handle and understand the purpose of humanity on earthly pedestal.


No doubt about it, the concept and ideology of extremism flourishes when there is injustice, poverty,nepotism,corruption and other source of criminality that profit nothing but to maroon the essence of human existence on earth.

“Extremism is a concept, an idea and a philosophy that subject the beauty of human existence to a particular approach which is propagagted on the believe that human life and the purpose for human existence should be secondary in any approcah to achieve any form of success in any endeavour which is always passed across in a manner whereby human life, dignity and integrity must be mortgaged and maimed for such idea to see the light of the day”.


It is quite important to note that extremism will always stand at a loggerhead with any approach that will promote and preserve human life.


According to Hillary Clinton:


“Extremism thrives amid ignorance and anger, intimidation and violence”.


With this quote above, it is essential to note that extremism is always centred around playing on the mind of people.It becomes established once ignorance is the order of the day.


Recently, the news of the ressurgence of slave trade in Libya emerged a breaking news accompanied with many reactions and responses from far and near with many practical stories being relayed by people who are victims of such sorts of barbarism.


A careful analytical observation from the stories relayed and responses from majority of people simply point to the fact that the extremism in every human emerges when there are challenges that are viewed to be overwhelming. A larger percentage of human beings will prefer taking up an extreme measure that are so mean and anti-human in order to get solutions to their challenges.


The recent emergence of slave trade is a pointer to the fact that the captive who embarked on a journey to Europe through the desert and through the high sea became very desperate for greener pasture in Europe without thinking deeply about the risk involved.This is a simple description of what extremism is all about because it involved the suspension of existentialism which makes human life to be counted as nothing but a denominator for making it in life.


The captor who sees the opportunity of the realities in Libya to established a trade that is illegal and anti-human is also an extremist because the any approach that suspend human dignity through abuse of human right to the point of putting anyone in chains and manacles is a good description of extremism since the concept of existentialism is suspended at this point for personal gains and personal aggradisement.


All around us, without mincing words, if we take our time to check, one could observe vividly many forms of extremism that is eroding the beauty and dignity of humanity on a daily basis.


In the course of the weekend, while in a discussion, someone was been talked about advicing another person that if he wants to make sales in million, one of the steps needed to be taken is to employ ladies that are beautiful, seductive and attractive because this will be better tool to attract the high and the mighty in the society to patronise the business.


It was at this point,I realised that the essence of humanity is being degraded by extremism in all facet of human endeavour which starts from being desperate in getting things done without giving a damn about whose ox is gored.


Moreover, in a situation whereby what a lady cares about is to sleep with her boss in order to get promoted without given a damn about what the process and procedure for promotion in such an establishment.In the course of such approach,injustice,partiality,cheating and all sorts of dirty ideas will be promoted and this will make more people who are not deep in thinking to become desperate also in their bid to get their life moving.


“Extremism has nothing to offer but to cause confusion, imbalance,chaos and instability but it always starts with someone who think and believe that the best way in life is to go all out  to pull others down before personal dreams and aspirations can become a reality”.


They are all around us and they are busy promoting their anti-human approaches on a daily basis without any remorse, restraints and constraints.


Their impacts are being felt in every area of human endeavour with its boomearng effect having a destructive force on the existence of human being on earth.


No society can be developed in totality when the amber of extremism is fanned as it relates to ideas, views and philosophy.It is the society that suffers for it and it is potent enough to mortgage the future of the coming generation by making it blur and bleak




While we are living and existing, the only good thing we can offer humanity is to promote and preserve existentialism as a way of life in terms of ideas, views and philosophy far above extremism.


It is extremism that makes someone to embark on a journey through the desert and the high sea in order to makes end meet that later resulted into someone holding you captive in a foreign land and being auctioned for a token by your captor.


“No society can emerge when all the inhabitants are bent on being making it at all cost without putting into consideration the effect of their approaches on others.Their must be a human feelings for any approach being propagated and the approach must be geared towards preserving human dignity.”

“It is until when human existence is viewed as a a precious seed that must be protected and preserved above any form of approach that the real meaning of the essence of humanity will become a reality and human dignity will be enhanced”.

In conclusion, whenever existentialism is subjected to extremism,the emergence and ressurgence of slave trade becomes the visible outcome and feasible reality.Whenever, existentialism is murdered on the platform and altar of extremism,illicit trafficking of human being as slave becomes an acceptable business ventures.

Whatsoever it might cost, existentialism must not be allowed to become inferior to extremism.





It was a beautiful Saturday Morning and it has started with an unabated heavy downpour that made the weather to be friendly.The coolness that accompanied this unabated heavy downpour early in the morning made almost everybody to feel lazy and reluctant in dashing out of the bed.This made everybody’s bed to be be so much comfortable and cozy which prevented many people from going out very early.And when the rain ceased, every major street was dry and deserted with few commutters on the road awaiting drivers that will convey them to their various destination.


Tiffany was really affected by this atmospheric condition and she ended uo waking up late.Though, she has no reason to wake up as early as possible since it was weekend and Saturdays are meant to be maximized for resting and all round relaxation.


As she laid on the bed without putting on a cloth but only a wrapper that faintly covered her body, she went into deep thought, she started relaying and talking to her herself about how she have been able to enjoy, rest and relax to the best of her ability in the course of the semester break.


Tiffany has been able to mingle with old friends and acquaintances with relatives,families and familiars that she has not been able to see for so many years.This created a kind of sensitivity and consciousness in her that made her to observed that one of the essence of human existence becomes fulfilling when someone is surrounded and related with people and familiars who are good and humane in all ramifications of life.


Her thought drifted to how she has been able to see the best in every human she met in the course of her holiday and this has helped her to learn a lot about human relationship.She was able to understand that no human relationship can become smooth without the parties involved been selfless and sacrificial in their approach to every single thing that is needed in enhancing good human relationship.


Without anybody around with her in her room, Tiffany started smiling with all the nerves on her face becoming relaxed and this enhance good expression on her face thereby projecting her beauty more.


And at a point, she went wild into laughter.


Tiffany!Tiffany!!Tiffany!!!Her mum called from her room.


Hope all is well?Tiffany’s mum asked.


Tiffany opened her door and walked closely to her mum and dad’s bedroom door to answer her.


All is well Ma!Tiffany replied.


I am just reminiscing on many things I have been able to lay hands upon in the course of my stay at home.


Ok!!!No problem!Tiffany’s mum replied.


Are we not going to observe early Morning prayer this Morning?Tiffany’s dad interrupted.


Oh!!! Sorry Sir!!!I have forgotten.Tiffany answered her dad.


Look at you, daughter!!!Tiffany’s dad started talking.You need to set your priority right.The first thing in the morning is to seek the face of God and this has been our culture in this family since.


Ok, Sir!!!.Tiffany replied.


Meet me in the living room and make sure you are set for prayer in the next few minutes.Tiffany’s dad commanded.


Yes Sir!!!Tiffany quickly rushed down to put on a night gown with her wrapper to cover the gown since the night gown is transparent.


Immediately,at almost five minutes after her discussion with her dad, Tiffany found herself in the midst of her dad and mum offering prayers and petition to God early in the morning.And thirty minutes after,early morning prayer came to a halt with a loud “AMEN”.





Immediately after the early morning family prayer was over, Tiffany starred attending to domestic chores, she started it from her room by engaging in an all encompassing cleaning of her room and later extended it to the whole house even to the entire compound.


At this point,street has started becoming lively because it was already getting to 10AM in the morning because many people are going out to attend to many engagements and functions while others are going to the market to purchase food stuffs and other domestic necessities for the wekend and for the week ahead.


It was a stressful Saturday for Tiffany, she was tired and weighed down by the demand of making sure that the entire house is clean and neat.Since, she believed that cleanliness is next to godliness, she kept on pushing until she finished cleaning and made sure that the entire house is sparkling.


Tiffany!Tiffany!!Tiffany!!!Her mum called.


Breakfast is ready.Her mum exclaimed.


I am coming,I will soon be with you Ma!Tiffany replied.


When she got to the dining,she realised that her breakfast is simply hot pap and bean cake(akara).Though, it is one of her favourite delicacy especially for breakfast.She was deeply satisfied and sat down immediately to consume her food since she is already famished due to the rigour of the domestic chores she has just completed.


Thank you Ma!Tiffany appreciated her mum awhen she was about leaving the dinning for the bathroom.


When you are finished bathing, we are going to the market to stuck the house for the weekend and the week ahead of us.Tiffany’s Mum informed her.


Few minutes after, Tiffany informed her mum that she is through cleaning up.


Mum!!!I am through!!!Tiffany exclaimed.


OK!!!I am coming,I will soon be with you.Tiffany’s mum replied.


Ma!!!Have you prepared the list for the market?Tiffany asked her mum.


Nope!!!Kindly help me to prepare it and when I am through cleaning up, I will review it and tagged it with quantity and price.Tiffany’s mum replied.


That is the list Ma!Tiffany informed her mum about the list.


Ok!!!Let me review it one after the other.Tiffany mum replied immediately.


Within few minutes, Tiffany’s mum was able to review the list, tagged it with quantity and prices and both were set for the market.


Get the car key from your dad Please?


Ok!!!Tiffany replied.


Daddy!!!Can I get the key for you car?


Check the drawer beside my bed in my room.Tiffany’s dad replied.


I am going to drive!!!Tiffany suggested.


Nope!!!Your mum should drive since you are not yet licensed,you cannot drive.Tiffany’s dad replied.


Daddy!!!Why now?Why are you doing this to me?I feel like driving today now.At least I would like to drive once since I have been on holiday.Tiffany kept talking and murmuring.


I still maintain that you are not driving.I don’t want problem for myself.Her dad insisted and he didn’t shift his ground that she is not driving.


Tiffany became annoyed and angry with her dad’s decison but since she knew that her dad is the obstinate, strong-headed,impulsive and strong-minded type, she just wave it aside and rushed out to meet her mum who is already in the car honking to Tiffany to hurry up.


Why are you wearing a harsh-look now?Tiffany’s mum asked.


Don’t mind daddy, he hasn’t change a bit.Despite the fact that he is becoming old and he is having grey-hair now.There is no way someone can convince and win any argument with him.Tiffany kept talking.


He is your father and he wants the best for you in every ramification of life.He is being careful and he didn’t want you to commit any life threatning error no matter the littleness of such error.Dont be angry with him.He loves you.


Mum!!!Love!!!Is that how to love someone?He is too tough for my liking.I dont really know how you are coping with him for ages.Tiffany kept talking.


He is a good man with a goood and a large heart.Till now, he is still the loving type that can go extra miles to give the best to anyone he loves.So, don’t think that he is cruel and wicked.It is just that he is blunt and starightforward and he hates people who are not straighforward and honest in their ways and in their dealings.This is exactly what your mum wants in a man when I fall in love with him many years ago.Above all, he is intelligent, brilliant and handsome.


I think I have answered your question?Tiffany’s mum asked.


I pray that you will soon find a man like him as a suitor.


Mum!!!Why are you drifting?Tiffany asked.


I am not drifting in anyway.I am just altering my heartfelt wishes for you.Tiffany’s mum replied.


Ok!!!I have heard you.


I think you can park here.Tiffany suggested.


They both alighted from the car and head straight to the heart of the market.


How much is this please?


To be continued.


Hope the story-line is becoming more interesting?


Get ready for the next episode.


It will be published soon.












©Wordsmith Scribe 2018.


©Fadeyi Felix Femi